Being married is crazy. B and I still, after 9 months, will look at each other and wonder aloud “We’re married?” and the other one of us will respond” I know… and it’s awesome, right??” It totally is!
I have found someone who likes all the things about me that I sometimes don’t even like myself. I can be my complete self without fear of rejection or embarrassment. It’s truly freeing and I think that is one of the biggest reasons why marriage is so joyous!
But then there are the times when the differences between you surface and you’ve gotta negotiate. Most of the time that negotiation requires doing what the other person likes so they’ll do that for you in return. A specific example would be that B is obsessed with Gordon Ramsay shows right now. All of them. And while I like to watch Master Chef, I hate Hell’s Kitchen. But he likes it so I suffer, with a smile. “Smile suffering”.
But then, when I want to go to some random new restaurant, he obliges because of the give and take we’ve established. He gets to be who he is and I get to be who I am. There’s no giving up anything, just understanding each other’s needs and making sure time is made for each person to enjoy the things they like.
I love this quote by Dr. Seuss because even though we are one now, I am still me and he is still B. Even though he knows me more than I know myself sometimes, I get to be myself without consequences, but am sharpened daily by his partnership. A forever evolving relationship between the two of us.