Since the debates for the next President of the USA have recently been all over the news, I am reminded of a time when I once held office… in high school. That’s right, I was elected Student Body/ Senior Class President the end of my junior year.
I was gunning for this election in particular because it was the first time in 3 years my family wasn’t moving over summer break. I was ready, I had ideas, and my senior class of 27 students wasn’t going to know what hit them. I was a force, all right. But what my peers and I didn’t know was that my presidency would ultimately be compromised. One fateful day on a bus trip back from an amusement park, I was going to have to fight to maintain my presidency!
It was May 2005 and the pollen levels were a little too high. The last day of school was on the horizon but first, Lagoon Day. The whole school took buses to our local version of a Six Flags or Kings Dominion but Lagoon was a mormon owned theme park with a few good roller coasters, a cross-park gondola, and refreshing Lagoon-A-Beach (get it?). And I loved that place. Actually it was where B, the combination of 3 brothers, and I spent the majority of our summer days. So of course I already had a season pass. We could drive, we had Nokia cell phones, and we especially went on Sundays because… you know… the mormons. They were all in church so the place was empty!
We didn’t have to wear our school uniforms for this field trip so I was looking fresh in my new jean skort and argyle polo. It was beautiful afternoon with non-stop activity… that quickly turned eventful on the way home. Now, I like to blame my father for this next part:
When I was growing up I would see my dad spit all the time. When he was running, mowing the lawn, in the parking lot, everywhere. Well, not really everywhere, or all the time, but it was enough to leave an impression on me that this was not a ‘repulsive’ act. And since I’ve had miserable allergies my entire life, there might have been a time or two when I had to hock a loogie of my own… innocently.
Soooooo I don’t know how it started (blame it on the pollen), really I don’t (definitely the pollen), but I ended up spitting out of the bus window while on the interstate and the loogie immediately flew right back into the bus about 3 seats behind me, hitting some kid the face. Whoops. Now, I can’t truly remember, but I’m sure I continued participating in this dreadful act all the way back to the parking lot of the school. A couple of the other kids had joined in too, but, as per usual, I was the only one spotted. Supposedly some of the parents picking up the younger children caught a glimpse and, per their detailed description, this was a horrific scandal. So utterly appalling (to them) that my mother received a call from the principle that evening and I earned in-school-suspension the next day. I had to prepare a statement to the whole student body apologizing for all my wrong doing. Was I truly wrong? No, obviously not. I was dealing with a bunch of amateurs.
But there I was crying in a windowless room for the entire school day while forming this ridiculous letter of apology that I sincerely did not give two craps about. The only reason I endured this harassment was because I knew I was future president of this establishment. This act would not stand in my way and I had to repent (literally, it was Christian school) for fear of losing the one thing I had wanted quite badly for a long time. So you better believe that was the most sincere apology speech I had ever given to the whole of the student body (…about 200 kids from 8th-12th grade) ((it was a small school)). And they all ate it up, practically asked for seconds! I was wrong, I admitted to it, and I apologized. That was all it took, the letter was my ticket to freedom. And I tore the stub right off that ticket and headed straight into my senior year. Spit free.